The Independent Grammar School: Durham

 RSE (Relationships & Sex Education) POLICY

 Introduction

Relationships Education is compulsory in all primary schools in England and Relationships and Sex Education is compulsory, subject to parents’ right to withdraw (see below), in all secondary schools.

 According to the Department for Education (DfE):  

“The compulsory subject content … must be taught “sensitively and inclusively, with respect to the backgrounds and beliefs of pupils and parents while always with the aim of providing pupils with the knowledge they need of the law”.

“We are clear that parents and carers are the prime educators for children on many of these matters”. 

In the primary years, we will focus on helping children develop healthy, respectful relationships, focusing on family and friendship in all contexts, including online.  This will be taught alongside maintaining good health (diet, teeth etc.)

In the senior years, we will build on the above knowledge, adapting it in age-appropriate ways, and further develop students’ knowledge of health issues, focus on risk areas (drugs and alcohol) and introduce knowledge about intimate relationships and sex.  

Throughout (for both primary and senior pupils) we will also focus on the following:

·       Mental health

·       Resilience and character

·       Kindness and generosity

·       Financial education

·       Careers

Most of this content will be delivered within a PSHE (Personal, Social, Health and Economic) Education framework.

We will clearly communicate to parents that they have the right to withdraw their child from Sex Education but not from Relationships Education. 

All schools are required to consult parents and take into account their views, including religious views, when setting their policy in this area.  Parents were asked to express their opinions and have helped us decide how and when to cover the statutory content.

The Primary Years

These are the learning outcomes by the end of Year 6:

1.         Families & People who Care for Me

 Pupils should know:

 ·       That families are important for children growing up because they can give love, security and stability.

·       The characteristics of healthy family life, commitment to each other, including in times of difficulty, protection and care for children and other family members, the importance of spending time together and sharing each other’s lives.

·       That others’ families, either in school or in the wider world, sometimes look different from their family, but that they should respect those differences and know that other children’s families are also characterised by love and care.

·       That stable, caring relationships, which may be of different types, are at the heart of happy families, and are important for children’s security as they grow up.

·       That marriage* represents a formal and legally recognised commitment of two people to each other which is intended to be lifelong.

·       How to recognise if family relationships are making them feel unhappy or unsafe, and how to seek help or advice from others if needed.

2.         Caring friendships

Pupils should know:

 ·       How important friendships are in making us feel happy and secure, and how people choose to make friends.

·       The characteristics of friendships, including mutual respect, truthfulness, trustworthiness, loyalty, kindness, generosity, trust, sharing interests and experiences and support with problems and difficulties.

·       That healthy friendships are positive and welcoming towards others, and do not make others feel lonely or excluded.

·       That most friendships have ups and downs, and that these can often be worked through so that the friendship is repaired or even strengthened, and that resorting to violence is never right.

·       How to recognise who to trust and who not to trust, how to judge when a friendship is making them feel unhappy or uncomfortable, managing conflict, how to manage these situations and how to seek help or advice from others, if needed.

 3.         Respectful relationships

 Pupils should know:

 ·       The importance of respecting others, even if they are very different to them (for example, physically, in character, personality or backgrounds), or make different choices or have different preferences or beliefs.

·       Practice steps they can take in a range of different contexts to improve or support respectful relationships.

·       The conventions of courtesy and manners.

·       The importance of self-respect and how this links to their own happiness.

·       That in school and in wider society they can expect to be treated with respect by others, including those in positions of authority.

·       About different types of bullying (including cyberbullying), the impact of bullying, responsibilities of bystanders (primarily reporting bullying to an adult) and how to get help.

·       What a stereotype is, and how stereotypes can be unfair, negative or destructive.

·       The importance of permission-seeking and giving in relationships with friends, peers and adults.

 4.         Online relationships

 Pupils should know:

 ·       That people sometimes behave differently online, including by pretending to be someone they are not.

·       That the same principles apply to online relationships as to face-to-face relationships, including the importance of respect for others online including when we are anonymous.

·       The rules and principles for keeping safe online, how to recognise risks, harmful content and contact, and how to report them.

·       How to critically consider their online friendships and sources of information including awareness of the risks associated with people they have never met.

·       How information and data is shared and used online.

 5.         Being safe

 Pupils should know:

 ·       What sort of boundaries are appropriate in friendships with peers and others (including in a digital context).

·       About the concept of privacy and the implications of it for both children and adults; including that it is not always right to keep secrets if they relate to being safe.

·       That each person’s body belongs to them, and the differences between appropriate and inappropriate or unsafe physical, and other, contact.

·       How to respond safely and appropriately to adults they may encounter (in all contexts, including online) whom they do not know.

·       How to recognise and report feelings of being unsafe or feeling bad about any adult.

·       How to ask for advice or help for themselves or others, and to keep trying until they are heard.

·       How to report concerns or abuse, and the vocabulary and confidence needed to do so.

·       Where to get advice e.g. family, school and/or other sources.

 The Secondary Years

 We will continue to develop knowledge on topics specified for primary as required and in addition cover the following content by the end of Year 11:

 1.         Families

 Pupils should know:

 ·       That there are different types of committed, stable relationships.

·       How these relationships might contribute to human happiness and their importance for bringing up children.

·       What marriage is, including their legal status e.g. that marriage carries legal rights and protections not available to couples who are cohabiting or who have married, for example, in an unregistered religious ceremony*

·       Why marriage is an important relationship choice for many couples and why it must be freely entered into.

·       The characteristics and legal status of other types of long-term relationships.

·       The roles and responsibilities of parents with respect to raising children, including the characteristics of successful parenting.

·       How to: determine whether other children, adults or sources of information are trustworthy: judge when a family, friend, intimate or other relationship is unsafe (and to recognise this in others’ relationships); and how to seek help or advice, including reporting concerns about others, if needed.

 * Marriage in England and Wales is available to both opposite sex and same sex couples.  The Marriage (Same Sex Couples) Act 2013 extended marriage to same sex couples in England and Wales.  The ceremony through which a couple get married may be civil or religious.

 2.         Respectful relationships, including friendships

 Pupils should know:

 ·       The characteristics of positive and healthy friendships (in all contexts, including online) including: trust, respect, honesty, kindness, generosity, boundaries, privacy, consent and the management of conflict, reconciliation and ending relationships.  This includes different (non-sexual) types of relationship.

·       Practical steps they can take in a range of different contexts to improve or support respectful relationships.

·       How stereotypes, in particular stereotypes based on sex, gender, race, religion, sexual orientation or disability, can cause damage (i.e. how they might normalise non-consensual behaviour or encourage prejudice).

·       That in school and in wider society they can be expected to be treated with respect by others, and that in turn they should show due respect to others, including people in positions of authority and due tolerance of other people’s beliefs. 

·       About different types of bullying (including cyberbullying), the impact of bullying, responsibilities of bystanders to report bullying and how and where to get help.

·       That some types of behaviour within relationships are criminal, including violent behaviour and coercive control.

·       What constitutes sexual harassment and sexual violence and why these are always unacceptable.

·       The legal rights and responsibilities regarding equality (particularly with reference to the protected characteristics as defined in the Equality Act 2010) and that everyone is unique and equal.

 3.         Online and media

 Pupils should know:

 ·       Their rights, responsibilities and opportunities online, including that the same expectations of behaviour apply in all contexts, including online.

·       About online risks, including that any material someone provides to another has the potential to be shared online and the difficulty of removing potentially compromising material placed online.

·       Not to provide material to others that they would not want shared further and not to share personal material which is sent to them.

·       What to do and where to get support to report material or manage issues online.

·       The impact of viewing harmful content.

·       That specifically sexually explicit material e.g. pornography presents a distorted picture of sexual behaviours, can damage the way people see themselves in relation to others and negatively affect how they behave towards sexual partners.

·       That sharing and viewing indecent images of children (including those created by children) is a criminal offence which carries severe penalties including jail.

·       How information and data is generated, collected, shared and used online.

 4.         Being safe

 Pupils should know:

 ·       The concepts of, and laws relating to, sexual consent, sexual exploitation, abuse, grooming, coercion, harassment, rape, domestic abuse, forced marriage, honour-based violence and FGM, and how these can affect current and future relationships.

·       How people can actively communicate and recognise consent from others, including sexual consent, and how and when consent can be withdrawn (in all contexts, including online). 

 5.         Intimate and sexual relationships, including sexual health

 Pupils should know:

 ·       How to recognise the characteristics and positive aspects of healthy one-to-one intimate relationships, which include mutual respect, consent, loyalty, trust, shared interests and outlook, sex and friendship.

·       That all aspects of health can be affected by choices they make in sex and relationships, positively or negatively, e.g. physical, emotional, mental, sexual and reproductive health and wellbeing.

·       The facts about reproductive health, including infertility, and the potential impact of lifestyle on fertility for men and women and menopause.

·       That there are a range of strategies for identifying and managing sexual pressure, including understanding peer pressure, resisting pressure and not pressurising others.

·       That they have a choice to delay sex or to enjoy intimacy without sex.

·       The facts about the full range of contraceptive choices, efficacy and options available.

·       The facts around pregnancy including miscarriage.

·       That there are choices in relation to pregnancy (with medically and legally accurate, impartial information on all options, including keeping the baby, adoption, abortion and where to get further help).

·       How the different sexually transmitted infections (STIs), including HIV/AIDs, are transmitted, how risk can be reduced through safer sex (including through condom use) and the importance of and facts about testing.

·       About the prevalence of some STIs, the impact they can have on those who contract them and key facts about treatment.

·       How the use of alcohol and drugs can lead to risky sexual behaviour.

·       How to get further advice, including how and where to access confidential sexual and reproductive health advice and treatment.

 Consultation

 Schools are required to consult parents about the content and delivery of RSE.  IGS: Durham consulted parents in 2020 by email and by holding a meeting to which all parents were invited.  Several parents expressed their views and these have been taken into account in developing this policy.  Consultation should be a continuous process and we will consult again in the light of this new, revised policy, reviewed in January 2023.

 Right to Withdraw

 We will inform parents when sex education is to be taught.  Parents have the right to ask to withdraw their children from some or all of sex education delivered as part of statutory RSE. Parents do not have the right to withdraw children from relationships education, or indeed health education, either in the primary or secondary years.  Given that we are delivering this content in line with statutory guidance and following consultation we hope that no parents will exercise this, but they have every right to do so and we will ensure that their wishes are met within the limits of the guidance. 

 Before granting any such request the Principal will discuss the request with parents and, if appropriate, with the child to ensure that his/her wishes are understood and to clarify the nature and purpose of the curriculum.  We will document this process to ensure a record is kept.

 The Principal will also discuss with parents the benefits of receiving this important education and any detrimental effects that withdrawal might have on the child. This could include the likelihood of the child hearing their peers’ version of what was said in the classes, rather than what was directly said by the teacher. The detrimental effects may be mitigated, of course, if the parents propose to deliver sex education to their child at home instead and we will support parents in doing that if they wish.

 There are very few circumstances in which the school would not respect parents’ request to withdraw their child, up to and until three terms before the child turns 16. After that point, if the child wishes to receive sex education rather than be withdrawn, the school will arrange to provide the child with sex education during one of those terms.

 This process is the same for pupils with SEND.  However, there may be exceptional circumstances where the Principal may want to take a pupil’s specific needs arising from their SEND into account when making this decision.

 The Principal will automatically grant a request to withdraw a pupil from any sex education delivered in primary schools, other than as part of the science curriculum.

 If a pupil is excused from sex education, we will ensure that he/she receives appropriate, purposeful education during the period of withdrawal.

IGS: Durham

Policy written:            December 2016

Reviewed:                   September 2018, Summer 2020 (issued for consultation to parents), January 2023, November 2023

Next Review:              September 2025